Today I am struck with how depraved my mind really is. Seriously, depraved. My always loving LORD gave me a glimpse of my own selfish depravity this morning. I’ve been ruminating on it since.
While doing 1o1 things around the house this morning, I allowed selfish thoughts to manifest in my thinking. The thoughts went something like this…”Does anyone ever realize/care what I do? Does anyone notice?”…those thoughts immediately went to “Why bother because no one ever notices.” …. the next thought “I sure hope everyone who comes to my funeral thanks me for what I’ve done and I hope God will give me a glimpse of that from Heaven.” Yes, my mind really does skip around like that (so glad I warned you ahead of time how depraved I am)!
I am so very thankful for my Savior! So very thankful that He hasn’t given up on me. Before my pity party became a full-fledged fiesta, the Holy Spirit whispered to my heart and gave me a mental picture that I can not dismiss.
You see, the mental picture was me at His feet in Heaven while there was a funeral for me here on earth. Instead of my hope that He would give me a glimpse of people singing my praises over my dead body, He gave me a vision of myself praising Him oblivious to anything on earth. Because, it is truly all about Him!
When I get to heaven and I am able to start my eternity with Him, I want it to be all about Him and none about me. If I want that in Heaven, shouldn’t I want it here on earth too? If it won’t matter in Heaven, it shouldn’t matter here.