I’m a wimp

Honestly, I’m such a wimp! I hate being sick and when I am, the entire world knows that I hate being sick (now you know too, aren’t you thrilled?!).

I have either a) the flu or b) bronchitis, sinusitis, and otitis. I’m leaning heavily toward option b) but I haven’t been to the doctor to be properly diagnosed. My doctor is only in his office M-Th, and I didn’t feel this badly M-Th so I didn’t call him. In hindsight, I probably should have called yesterday. We have a local clinic that I could go to but I was just there yesterday with the boy who shut his finger in a door and didn’t really want to make it 2 days in a row at the clinic. So, here I am sitting at home, being a wimp…too tired to do anything and too sick to care.

Even in these times of my life, my God pursues me. This is yet another reason why I love Him so! He finds me flipping covers off and pulling them up over and over again, all night long, because I’m either hot or cold and whispers to my heart “I’m here with you”. He finds me when I’m feeling like my head is going to explode from sinus pressure and my nose is sore from blowing it often and He whispers “I love you!”. He sees me awake, yet again, from coughing, coughing, coughing and tells me “You are not alone”. He never leaves me, He always loves me and He never neglects to tell me.

Yesterday, as I was feeling puny and sorry for myself, I found out that a dear friend has just been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. I don’t know what stage Kim’s cancer is but my heart hurts for her and for her family. Kim’s message on Facebook encouraged all as she told us her diagnosis…

I was diagnosed with Non Hodgkins Lymphoma today… Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!” The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him. Lamentations 3:21-25

As much as I love Him for it, it is also humbling when my God pursues me. Who am I to whine and complain when my friend and her husband are facing incredible unknowns? Who am I to wonder where His love is when my ear hurts? Why do I doubt He is near me when I can’t sleep?

Amazingly, all of these questions are true of me in the past 48 hours and yet my friend, who faces a major crises, has no doubts. She knows that His faithfulness is great and His mercies are new. She knows her hope is in Him and that He is good to those who depend on Him. She dares to hope in the face of the unknown.

I’m not sure one can remain a wimp and dare to hope in the face of the unknown. I have much to learn from my friend Kim!

Categories faith

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