… so very much spinning through my head these days. As is typical, it’s the times I am most outwardly busy that the most inward struggles happen.
There is much I want to write. Much I want to work out with words and a keyboard. Much I want to share. My fingers have been itching for a chance at the keyboard and the noise in my head has reached record volume… so, between events, here I am… and, here is one of many thoughts….
I’ve been working a lot of heart wrestling out in my last few posts (with the exception of the reviews). It’s been about 10 days of hard heart struggles… of seeking with all my might and coming up empty handed… of wrestling to make sense of it all.
I’m thinking perhaps it wasn’t a wrestling match against God, as I had first thought, but instead, a match against the enemy. And, I think there was a while where he might have thought he was winning.
I’m not sure of all I know. I know it is possible to wrestle with God for my Bible tells me so. The book of Genesis recounts Jacobs struggle with God before he was reunited with his brother, Esau. This same Bible also warns me against the spiritual warfare that Satan and his minions wage against me. I’m not sure which is which sometimes… and, I’m just sinful enough… just schizophrenic enough… that it could be both.
All of this is to say that what I blamed God for last week in calling it a wrestling match with Him, may have, instead, been my sinful self in a spiritual battle with someone who never plays fair. It took me a while to stop spinning long enough to not-so-gently remind him that he can’t win because I’ve been sealed with the blood of Jesus.
…and after that, an amazing thing happened. A group of community children’s ministry workers got together and brainstormed a community-wide summer children’s event that would cross the boundaries of churches and denominations to get our kid’s excited and equipped to go back to school ready to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with their friends…. and, I was in that meeting!
…perhaps what I viewed as wresting was warfare…