surrendering the Mama Bear in me… day 6

The last volleyball game of the season and I sat in the bleachers with the other parents and fans… simultaneously talking, cheering and watching.  Watching my heart sitting on the bench across the gym floor.  Watching players rotating in and out of a volleyball match while one sat and waited… until all had rotated in but her.  Watching but saying nothing.

A nudge and a tap on my shoulder from a kindred spirit…  

“She’s played them all but Emme.  How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.  Since she’s not reacting, I’m trying not to.”

“It’s hard to keep the Mama Bear in check, though, isn’t it?”


and then I glanced across that shiny floor one more time… and saw my heart break.  A girl alternating between glancing occasionally at her coach with hope on her face and staring at the floor trying to keep her emotions in check.

Our team lost the first match and won the second.  There would be one more match.

God has a way of redeeming situations around me when I surrender to Him.  When I told Him I wanted to live a surrendered life, I guess I didn’t think of all the nooks and crannies of my world that He would want also.  I’m learning that He wants it all.

In the midst of the third match, Emme rotated in to serve.  A hesitant smile and bam!  The ball sailed beautifully over the net.  However, on the volley we turned it over.  Emme rotated out at the next serve.  One last chance to play… one happy, happy girl.  One smiling Mama Bear.

Another nudge and pat from behind me.  A reminder from my kindred friend that God sees and God knows and it is all good.

12-14… we are down… game point served for the opponents and we score!  

“Heidi!  LOOK!!”

My eyes caught a girl running into the game with a grin from ear to ear.  One more chance to play and a beautiful serve.  As the ball volleyed back, I saw a girl dig like she’s never dug before and on her bump back, our team scored.  

How can a heart that was moments before breaking now be soaring? 

How can a downcast face that struggled to not cave to emotions be beaming?

How can that same girl that sat the bench through the first two matches serve the game point and win the game?

This is the lesson I’m learning… in surrender there is redemption…  

and just as surrender is an on-going thing, so is redemption.

**photo credit goes to my facebook and real life friend, Ernesto Flores… I respectfully borrowed this pic from his facebook wall.  Thanks Ernesto!!
Categories 31 Days of Surrender, faith, parenting, surrender

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