the complexity of it all..

Is obeying God complex or have I made it that way?


I’ve struggled this week… well, I struggle every week, but particularly this week on this particular issue… the complexity of Lent.

I haven’t grown up with Lent, but the good girl in me wants to be sure I don’t miss out on something I’m supposed to do.

So… I’ve prayed this week and, in my pathetic way, offered many things up to God…

Do You want my sugar?
You can certainly have it, I’ve been trying
to give it up anyway…
it would be great to lose some more weight.

Do You want my blog?
I guess I could go 40 days without writing

Really…
I think I will give You anything…
if it would mean I would be doing something right.

So too, at the present time 
there is a remnant chosen by grace.  
And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; 
if it were, grace would no longer be grace
Romans 11:5-6

The complexity, for me, comes in the comparison.  I watch others… I see God call them to something and I immediately assume they are more Spiritual than I…

…but, God,
You’ve called others to give up
to sacrifice for this season…
don’t You NEED 
me to do this too?

Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
   as much as in obeying the LORD?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
   and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
1 Samuel 15:22

His commands are simple.  It is me who makes it complex when I compare myself to others… striving to earn His favor.  I do this not because I want to lay down my idols, but because I want to be as good as others.  

Grace… it’s a foreign concept to my sinful heart.  At the very core of its definition is the complexity that I can do NOTHING to earn it.  NOTHING…

…so, God..
does this mean that for this Lent season,
You would rather have my obedience
in responding in love to 
others rather than anger?
You would rather have 
my seek Your face
than offer you my sugar jar?

And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
   and to walk humbly
 with your God.
Micah 6:8

My God is big enough to call some to the obedience of offering a sacrifice during the 40 days of Lent and call me to seek Him rather than sacrifice.  I’m the one who makes it much more complex than it needs to be. 

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