clique or community… five minute Friday

It’s Friday… the day when we gather at Lisa Jo’s to write on one common topic for five minutes.  We write simply to write… no worries, no critiques.

I’m finding myself looking forward to Friday and to what the common theme will be.  Today our theme is…



I think we have all been created for community.  Most of us long for it and some of us pine for it.  In the Christian women circles I’ve seen, it seems as if the longing for or pining for is exasperated.

For instance… how many times have you heard the word “clique” in Christian women circles?  In my world, I’m not sure I can count that high.  However, have you ever heard Christian men complain about cliques in their church, school world, and social world?  Not likely.

I’m generalizing here but there are many, many Christian women who complain about cliques.  I’ve noticed that they only complain when they perceive there is a community of friends and they are not included.   IKR?

What if, instead of complaining about cliques, we started working towards community?  What if instead of complaining about the cliques in our worlds, we, instead, developed community of like-minded friends who meet together, encourage one another and develop deep roots?  What if instead of complaining, we act?

Not all of us will fit in the same community.  I think thirty years ago, someone should have said “THAT’S OKAY!!”  It’s okay that we don’t fit in with a particular community… it’s even okay that they don’t want us…  


you can start your own community!!!  (not quite rocket science but close…)  Seriously, ladies, let’s all stop blaming our insecurities on this perceived clique or that one and instead start investing in community with one another.  

Find like-minded women and invest in a community…. trust me, it’s way better than complaining about the community that you perceive is an exclusive clique. 


…forgive me… obviously this is brewing deep within… and has been for a very long time.  

Once upon a time, the young, teenage me complained to my mom that all the “cool kids” were doing their own thing after youth group.  I was appalled that I had not been invited and immediately assumed I was purposely excluded.  With hardly an acknowledgement of my perceived predicament, my mother wisely said, “so start your own cool kids group and do your own cool things.  Cool is only a perception of yours.  Overcome it!”

Ladies… I venture to say that your perceived cliques and your own perceived exclusion is just that… your perception.  And, if I’m wrong, why would you want to be with those people anyway?

…I’m done now…

Categories 5 minute Friday, friendship, writing

2 thoughts on “clique or community… five minute Friday

  1. wise words from your mama!! as a general rule it is a "woman" thing to see any group of women as a "clique" if we ourselves are not included! and you are so right…rather than tear down others for forming community, we should ourselves be building it up, whether that means joining in or adding another group. "so start your own cool kids group and do your own cool things. Cool is only a perception of yours. Overcome it!"So glad you were my neighbour over at Lisa-Jo's!Have a beautiful weekend!

  2. Isn't amazing how one word can prompt us to pour out some issue we didn't even know was bothering us? I'm glad you realize that clique is overused and misplaced in Christian community though perhaps when we hear this word we can use to make sure we are welcoming. Thanks for sharing.

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