A week ago, we celebrated our eighteenth wedding anniversary… nothing fancy, just lunch out at an authentic taco stand. The fact that he had returned to home the night before from eight days in Guatemala was enough for me.
I missed him while he was gone…. I missed him much! Isn’t it amazing what we don’t realize we have until it’s gone? The void of him gone was much bigger than the hole in my heart that he filled all those years ago.
Know what I missed the most, though? I missed my teammate. For these years, we’ve been a team. Sometimes we’ve been amazing together… like the Chicago Bulls of the 1990s… we’ve been unstoppable. During those times, women have commented to me, “I wish I had a marriage like yours.” It was good.
We’ve also been a team much like last year’s Indianapolis Colts. Times where one (or both) of us has abdicated our role and stepped out of the game. It becomes quite obvious that you can’t play without all the players. Though no one said this, I wonder if people often thought, “why do they bother to stay married?” It wasn’t so good.
Years ago, my brother and sister in law wrote a marriage curriculum called “Team of Two.” At the time, they were a team of two, a family of two. I ignorantly thought that that title had nothing to do with me because we were a team of four, almost five. I missed the point… I think I even missed the entire target. Their team of two was their marriage, not their family. The two of them, regardless of how many children come later, were a team and they played the game of life together, both fulfilling their God-given roles. Together their team was a force to reckon.
On this GratiTuesday, I’m respectfully borrowing Steve and Susy’s title… I am so grateful for my team of two! Life is not easy and in these years of driving children to and fro and passing the baton back and forth, I often lose heart. I’m easily overwhelmed with the details of when… where… and for how long. Yesterday was one of those days. A day where Chad was on call for surgery (this really means, don’t count on him but he may be around…). I’ve considered typing out the driving schedule I had yesterday for posterity but it really doesn’t matter… it was simply a very busy day, and I thought I was the sole driver. I forgot, for a moment, that we are a team of two. The reminder came when the text came…
I’m off. I will come get Eric and take him to work.
I was reminded, again, that I’m not in this parenting game alone. I’m not in this marriage game alone. I’m not even in the game of life alone. I am in those things as a team member and thus, it doesn’t fall on me to make sure the game happens. Instead, we do it together, and I am grateful!