unwrapping the chaos…

The chaos ensues this morning with 12 girls coming to decorate cakes for 4H here… in my not-so-big kitchen… with their moms and a few extra helpers, too.  By the time I’m scrapping royal icing off the floor, someone may be scrapping me off of the ceiling. It’s one of those times when I no longer wonder if I’m certifiably crazy… I just know that I am.

Chaos.  It’s my life.  I’d like to blame it on 4H… or school… or sports… or… or… or….  Blame gets me nowhere.  It is what it is… for this season of my life, whatever the duration, my life is chaotic.

Sometimes, for just a minute, I wish my life was neat and tidy… all wrapped up with seamless lines, tightly folded corners, and tied with a brilliant bow.  Let’s just say… based on my current reality …not so much.  Things in my life tend to overflow and spread out.  There isn’t anything neatly or tightly folded at this moment, and any bows I have ever had came unraveled years ago.

On a clear night, I wonder how I got here… how this once OCD, Type A personality is now living this life of chaos, confusion, and cake decorating on styrofoam cake dummies.   This isn’t what I imagined or dreamed about when I wondered what I would be when I grew up.  And, on that day when I said “I do!” this life wasn’t even on the radar.

Know what, though?  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I wouldn’t trade it for all of those pipe dreams I had.  This chaos… this is my life with the four I love the most… day in/day out… the good, the bad, and the ugly.   This life is what has changed me and made me.  I cannot even begin to describe the difference.  I simply know that I am less selfish, less self-absorbed, and more cognizant of others needs and wants.  I also know that without this chaos, life would be less exciting, less messy, and probably worthless.  Chaos is what makes up a full life… complete with laughter, tears, apologies, and gratitude.  It’s a life full of real life… full of memories that I treasure.

On this chaotic morning, I’m joining in, again, with the gratitude community at Ann’s to count 1000 gifts and more.  Those grace gifts given each day that I spent too much of my life taking for granted and now I don’t want to miss a single one.  Therefore, I count and record so that I remember…

for these and so much more, I am grateful…

…for choas
…and the fun that ensues
… for memories made
… and little girls falling asleep excited for the promise of a memorable day with friends

…for like minded families coming alongside
…for styrofoam that can be washed and reused when mistakes are made
…for a big girl who can now do it herself

…for the laughter of friends
…and $5 hot and ready pizza
… for air conditioning to keep the icing and all of us cool

… for the help of one who knows
… and her willingness to draw alongside year after year
… for her patience and grace

…for these memories my girls will have their whole life
… for this opportunity for them to try something new
… for the chance to give my girls this memory

… for 4H year after year
… and all that we have learned
… and looking forward to camping at the Fair

… for knowing that this too shall pass
… and life is but a vapor
… and I will miss the chaos when it’s gone!

 

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