It’s now Friday afternoon and I’m finally ready to join Five Minute Friday… that community of writers who sit on Lisa-Jo’s porch and share our thoughts on a single prompt without worry of perfection. Some weeks, the prompt stirs crazy in my mind and words pour free and easy. Other weeks, I have no words and I walk away. Today, the words came at 1:30 in the afternoon. Crazy, huh? So, I’m jumping hoping there are still a few 5 minute Friday friends hanging around.
Today’s word… CHANGE
I can feel it on my face. It blows my hair and stirs up my heart. Quietly, it sneaks in and around my home and if I’m busy or stressed, I miss it all together… too busy to notice. There are days, though, quiet days when it’s slow and still and I hear the wind roar. The winds of change.
Change. I hate it. Really. But, I can do nothing about it. Change comes. Lately, no more evidently than to my home, my life, my family. I still picture my family with 3 little kids… car seats, diaper bags, toys, LEGOs, American Girl dolls, and homeschool filled our days. Goldfish and mac-n-cheese filled their bellies and PBS Kids filled our TV time. I still think in terms of bedtimes and holding hands. The winds of change have blown through though. I think I’m the last one to notice.
So many nights, wearily crawling into bed wishing, dreaming, praying for just 15 minutes of alone time… or 2 hours for dinner and a date out… doubting that either would ever be my reality. I still crawl into be weary. If the truth were told, more tired now than then when the exhaustion was simply cleaning up toys for the upteenth time. Now it’s mental weary… worries, anxieties, ‘tudes… all brewing deep within.
Now, there are many times when it’s just me and the four-legged furry child hanging out at home. Everyone has somewhere to go, someplace to be. I spend more time driving than I did picking up stray LEGOs and I pray more now than I ever have. I pray for hearts and minds. I pray for blinders for their eyes and ears and discernment for their mind. I pray that they would stand tall and not sway. I pray for protection from things more evil than I could ever discuss with them.
We have dates now… all the time, almost. We go to football games by ourselves and leave girls home alone to watch movies and bake cookies. And, all that I wished for, dreamed of, prayed about… it isn’t all that I thought it would be. I miss those quiet evenings reading Charlotte’s Web and snuggling warm damp bodies after a bath. I miss the pitter patter of the little feet and the hugs of the one who said, “Mom, can I homeschool college too?” Know what, though? It’s also better than I ever dreamed it would be. Because he is still standing by my side after all those years of tag-team parenting. Last week we drove to a church picnic just the two of us again and I said, “how did we get here already?” and he took my hand and replied, “it happened way faster than I thought it would!”
The winds of change are blowing through my house and my life. That which I longed for is harder than I thought and that which I dreamed about is better than I ever imagined it would be. I’m learning to lean into the wind and savor the feel of it on my face.
true life disclaimer… I lost track of time. No idea how long this took me but I’m quite confident it was more than five minutes. 😉