when it can only be explained by God…say thank YOU

Friday night was one of those nights. We all have them… those times that drive us absolutely crazy.

It was late… it was dark… I was tired. I was in the high school parking lot waiting for the mancub to return from his away football game. My chief mechanic was 3.5 hours away sleeping in prep for his first ever 1/2 marathon. And, in that moment, my truck wouldn’t restart.

This has happened before with this truck… but, only with me. Honestly, there is no explanation. Chad is my chief mechanic and we have pursued every avenue. Apparently, this particular year and model have this restart issue. Why this issue only happens when Chad is not around can only be explained by God.

I hate to admit it out loud, but I didn’t find much comfort in that on Friday night. Honestly, I was mad. By the time we got home, I was a wreck. Though I was exhausted, I didn’t sleep well. I fumed.

I hate my reaction in times like this. It took me hours before I could truly say thank You to God for all of His provisions in that moment. In my self-righteous indignation, I missed the blessings… the gifts…

… friends parked directly behind me willing and able to jump start my truck
… same friend mechanically inclined and knows the ins and outs of engines and such
… one whose opinion is highly valued by my own chief mechanic
… and who tried valiantly to get my truck to start

… a safe place away from traffic for my truck to sit
… same friends in a vehicle large enough to take Eric, Emily, and I home when we left the truck at the school
… and to come back on Saturday morning to take me to the JV game
… other friends who were willing to pick Eric up for early JV team meeting on Saturday

… the blessing of being humbled
… and getting to know others
… of being able to watch Eric play on Saturday
… and then to find out that other friends were aware Friday night and willing to help as well

… other friends that helped with Emme on Saturday
… one who dropped her daughter off to hang out
… and delivered Emme lunch from Culvers at the same time
… and another that picked both girls up and took them to their girl’s Bible study on Saturday night

I went without my own vehicle this weekend but I didn’t miss anything. Everything I was going to do, got done. Even so, I battled frustration at the situation all weekend… especially, when Chad got in my truck Sunday afternoon, put his key in and it started right up… no jumper cables, no struggle… nothing but the engine purring happily.

It’s in moments like that when my flesh fights against the mighty hand of God. I wanted a mechanical explanation, not a supernatural one. I wanted to justified in my struggle rather than be redeemed. I wanted it my way, not His.

I was a mess Friday night over a vehicle that stayed at school all weekend.  I’m still a mess this morning because my flesh battles His plan every single day.  I hate that it’s the little things like this that make me the biggest mess.

It’s in the learning to count the blessings… the gifts… that I accept situations that can only be explained by God.

…and, I say thank YOU!

… for a fun birthday weekend for Ellen with Aunt Becky, Jenna, and Audrey
… for ice cream at Youngs
… and supper out at Fridays
… for cake pops

… for the fact that he crossed the finish line
… and pushed himself farther than he ever has
… and the race medal that hangs from the light above my table

… for corporate prayer
… and four friends gathered around one upholding in prayer
…for tears that are never forgotten
… and the beauty that is made from ashes

… for redemption that is an ongoing process in this messy heart

I’m joining again, on this Multitude Monday, with the gratitude community at Ann’s. Want to join us? What are your gifts today?

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8 thoughts on “when it can only be explained by God…say thank YOU

  1. You are teaching me a lot about counting blessings. I know what it is to be consumed with anger over something that is completely beyond your control. Thank you for sharing this experience.

    1. You are welcome. I hate that I get so worked up. Somedays I see how much God has changed this explosive heart and other days I see how far I have to go! I’m so glad He is in the business of redemption!

  2. Words to ponder! Thank you!

  3. I live near the High School, so I would have come and picked you up! I totally understand your frustration. When Dave is gone on a long trip, that is when the internet acts up, the computer locks up, and the kids need to take an online test or print out something pronto. By the time he gets home, everything “miraculously” starts working. I think it is God teaching me patience and what it truly important in life. It still is hard to accept and we all get worked up about the little things in life. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets upset about the little things and forgets to be thankful for the MANY blessings in life.

    1. Thanks Betsy! Honestly, I looked at the clock and thought, “It’s sooo late, I don’t want to wake anyone up!”

      I’ve been thinking all day, today, that the lesson may be that I rely more on God than on Chad. 😉

      BTW… I drove past Sarah running today. She wasn’t that far behind Ashley! 😉

  4. “I wanted it my way, not His.” Isn’t that it is… You write about your struggles so openly. I’m counting you as a blessing. Great post.

    1. thank you, my friend! I write about them because it’s my life… ; )

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