Stepping down… it’s counter cultural.
Especially when it comes to credit.
The American lie says to move up… borrow money… have it all!
You have to borrow to build a credit score,
and you can’t borrow without a good score.
I bought that lie… hook, line, and sinker.
For over 20 years, I was a credit card company’s dream.
I loved plastic… easy to carry, easy to swipe… easy to loose track of.
I carried balances often, always able to justify the interest paid.
Eventually, every balance got paid off.
While my spending rose, so did my credit score.
Banks loved me.
In the midst of the balancing act on the credit-go-round,
Someone was left out.
We tithed. We gave… out of our excess.
But, we never truly surrendered our money…
because… well… we might need it someday.
God took us on a very painful field trip five and half years ago.
I’ve not forgotten that April night of putting our income and expenses on paper
and realizing that there was no way they would ever balance.
Holding hands and joining hearts, we faced that mountain of debt
by surrendering it all… debt, income, wants, needs, the future, and the past
laid bare before Him.
He is faithful. He provided work and we worked our way out of debt
and off the credit-go-round.
Every amount of exorbitant interest and every penny borrowed
have been paid in full.
We thought that was the journey…
rarely do we ever really know the depths of God’s life lessons though.
The journey continued as He asked us to give
in ways that are not glorious or known.
He asked us to feed people and pay electric bills.
He asked us to drop off groceries or pay mortgages…
All while we learned to live within our own income
and not seek to bless ourselves with things put on a credit card
for payment later.
It’s been the longest journey because we haven’t arrived, even yet.
There are times when I am still overwhelmed with how to balance
it all. I still call out to God in fear and frustration that He doesn’t
see medical bills mounting or a truck that needs to be fixed.
He sees. Always.
So many times He has blessed us with the minutest things…
things like dishwasher soap, a box of clothes in the mail,
veggies from a friend’s garden, and meat from another’s freezer,
a year of private school, and the list goes on and on…
It’s me that doesn’t always see.
Though I still struggle with fear and uncertainty,
I recognize the peace and joy that have come
from stepping off the credit-go-round
and surrendering all that we have
and all that we earn to Him.
Stepping down from the credit-go-round means
that we have a very low credit score because
we no longer carry debt…
for us… it’s been worth it.