stepping down… to focus

I have found one incredibly good thing from having a migraine…. the day after.

The day after an excruciating headache everything is beautiful. The sun is lovely, the air smells sweet, the fall colors pop out. I feel more alive than I did and my heart shouts “thank You God!” often. It’s a beautiful thing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it is because my focus changes from pressing my fists tightly against my eyes to block out light to opening my eyes wide and engaging all five senses to focus on all that I’ve missed. My focus becomes outward and I can’t drink up enough of the goodness of God in the land of the living.

When I step down from the busy, the self-seeking, the tyranny of the urgent… my focus changes in much the same way. I see things I missed when I was frantically trying to accomplish it all. I smell the tomatoes the 9 year old and I blanch and freeze. I taste the early morning latte instead of trying to consume caffeine to keep going. I see the beauty of my 13 year old’s heart instead of hurrying her to the next thing. I feel his touch when he reaches for me instead of thinking of a million and one things I need to do. I hear the crash of the pads when he’s playing his passion instead of replaying the teenage snark in my mind over and over again. My senses come alive and I focus on those I love the most and I engage with them instead of around them.

I’m learning to step down to focus more… thanks migraine.

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