I laugh at our 9-year-old. That child whose heart closely resembles mine. She wants all the details… ahead of time.
“What time are we supposed to be there, Mom?”
“Now, we’ll go to the library first, right, Mom?”
“But, I thought you said we were having chili for supper, Mom!”
She’s not crazy about surprises, and neither is her mother.
Lately, this old heart of mine has struggled with reconciling what my heart thought life would be with how reality looks. I have carried around some mighty big preconceived notions of what my life and this Christian walk would look like.
“I will have walked with Christ long enough that I won’t question Him or my faith ever again.”
“I’ll give and God will give it all back pressed down, shaken together, and spilling over.”
“He’s changed me so much, I won’t ever struggle with giving grace again.”
“I thought life would get easier, not harder.”
Apparently, my preconceived notions of life and the Christian faith have been wrong. Life is hard. Honestly, it simply gets harder, not easier. The longer I walk with Christ, the more sin I see in my heart. I still question Him. I still lack faith.
my preconceived notions
don’t leave room for a life of faith
My other daughter… the one whose heart so closely resembles her father’s… has little expectations of life and doesn’t care much about the details. She has great faith. She simply goes with the ebb and flow of life and smiles much and giggles often. Her father lives the same way. I asked him the other night if he ever feels like life is pulling him under and water is splashing in his nose and mouth. He thought for a few minutes and said, “maybe once or twice in my lifetime. Mostly though, it’s all good,.”
Just as I laugh at the 9-yr-old, I’m sure God chuckles at me. It’s time to step down from the preconceived notions I’ve carried for so long and embrace a life of faith instead.
Now faith is confidence in what
we hope for and assurance about what
we do not see.