stepping down or running away?

The late, great Rich Mullins once said…
“I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want
than to take what You give that I need.”
Rich Mullins Hold Me Jesus

I spent this week fighting
Him about a conference in Chicago.
Frances Chan…
Jim Cymbala…
We had tickets,
we had childcare.
We were supposed to go…
or so we thought.

Then the money went for more medicine
and another doctor visit.
We prayed in faith
assuming that He would provide
for our day away.

It was also a week of consecutive migraines
and a nagging doubt
that we weren’t supposed to go.
I cried.
I yelled.
I said, “Do You even see this?”

He did…
it just didn’t resemble
Frances Chan and
Jim Cymbala
in Chicago.

Instead, it looked like
a picnic of pb & j
next to a quiet stream
under a covered bridge
with the one who pledge
for better or for worse.

That man of mine who got
a lot of “for worse” this week
as I fought the One who knows all,
knows me best,
and knows what is best for us.

He knew we needed a day away,
and a day to reconnect.
He also knew we would discover
a broken water pump on my truck…
thankfully, just a few miles from home
rather than in the concrete jungle of downtown Chicago.

So, on the day we thought we would be in Chicago
we took what we had…
a $25 gas card,
5 hours of time,
and a cooler of sandwiches and apples
to a quiet little town 20 miles from home.

Funny thing?
Once I stopped fighting Him
I got exactly what I needed
and more than I deserved.

and I discovered that sometimes
stepping down and running away
are synonymous…

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