on hiding like the moon…

We pulled out of the driveway and she said,

“MOM! Look at the moon!”

Just cresting the hill to our west, the huge orange orb glowed fully.

“It’s beautiful, Em!”

Two minutes later, we pulled into the driveway of her school and we both quietly gasped. That same orange globe now sat submerged in a bank of clouds, as if it were weary and the clouds there were it’s resting place.

I tried to get a picture of the moon through the skeleton trees and realized that it was slipping into those clouds faster than I could snap it’s image.

“I guess a picture in my mind will have to do, huh?” I asked that sweet girl.

She jumped out of the car, at the entrance to school, in her usual good spirits anticipating another great day. As I drove around the building to exit, I looked back. The moon was gone.

In a matter of 5 minutes or less, that moon went from lighting the dawn sky to complete obscurity behind a low lying bank of clouds.

I drove home and wondered…

What if I am like that moon?

More likely…
how often am I like that moon?

How often do I reflect the Son…
only to get tired and slip away,
still reflecting the Son but placing myself where no one sees or notices?

I often find myself hiding. Not hiding from God in the sense that Adam and Eve hid themselves in the Garden or Jonah hid himself on a ship at sea. Rather, I retreat from people and circumstances that wear and tear at me. I find a bank of clouds that will camouflage me and I quietly slip behind the screen.  Usually vowing to myself and to my Creator that I am going to stay there forever or until He takes me home. He must chuckle at me… He knows my hiding never lasts.

The lesson this morning didn’t end with the moon. I pulled back into our driveway to see three deer standing in our yard. The sound of my truck didn’t scare them off, nor did the lights I purposely shined on them. The rattle of the garage door didn’t faze them either.

When I came upstairs and looked out the window, one young doe was not five feet away from our deck. She watched me and I watched her. Neither of us looking away. I slid open the sliding door and she watched, all of her senses heightened but she did not run.

I watched and I wondered…

Why was she not afraid of me?

What does she know that I don’t?

How could this young doe not be afraid of me as a human
when this very human is afraid of other people?
It makes no sense.

She watched and probably wondered herself and then meandered away with the other two. None overtly afraid of me. I stood in the crisp air, my breath hanging as it’s own cloud, and watched them move on.

I am in awe of the ways my Creator God speaks to this wretched and fearful heart through His own creation. He created the beauty in this world to bring glory to Himself and for His own pleasure. Yet, He gently uses His very creation to reach down to His daughter in the early dawn light to teach her to trust Him the way that young doe does rather than run and hide like the moon behind the clouds this morning.

He loves me that much.

Oh how He loves me.

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4 thoughts on “on hiding like the moon…

  1. Oh Heidi! God used your blog this morning to speak to my anxious heart! Thank you! 🙂

    1. yay! Isn’t it amazing how He reaches down to touch each of us? I continue to pray for you guys!!

  2. … love those powerful questions … feel like I’m right there with you …

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