for now…

I write
and yet
I struggle with words.

I call
myself an author
and yet
I sit with
my silent heart
aching for the words
to be understood.

I speak
sometimes lofty
sometimes broken
always stuttering
my head tripping
over heart emotions
that have no words
or empty heart words
that have no emotion.

I read
the works of those who write eloquently
those who sell millions of copies
and I think where did they learn
how to find the words?

I hear
those who speak with the tongues of angels
and the wisdom of the ages
and I wonder
when I will finally learn
how to put words to the emotions of my heart?

I know
that until whenever
and wherever “then” will be…

I write
and yet I struggle
with words.

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4 thoughts on “for now…

  1. Hi, Heidi – I sure understand what you’re saying. There are so many voices out there — important voices that encourage and challenge us. How do we find *our* words — the words that heal and strengthen and minister to the hearts God has called us to serve? I guess we just keep writing. Your words – even though you say you struggle – speak to us, Heidi. Your words are beautiful, heart-felt, and God’s-love-infused. Thank you for sharing your words with us. They make a difference.

    1. Thank you, Gaye! Truly I’m not sitting here struggling or in a great depression, just thinking of the thoughts held captive in my hear that I cannot find words to free.

      Your words encourage me! Thank you!!

  2. … and that is why your writing is always compelling …

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