the comparison trap and getting my big girl pants on…

Men struggle with lust.
Women struggle with comparison.
It’s the same fight…

I hear it in her voice
and her voice…
and her voice…
and even my voice…
and the underlying tone resonates.

“I just NEED a new car,” she says,
“It’s kinda not fair that you have one.”

… or…

“I can’d do this anymore,” she moans,
“I don’t have a man like yours. He makes
your marriage work, my bum doesn’t do anything.
It’s not fair that you got so lucky in the marriage game.”

… or…

“You remember your last status on facebook?
The one that said that Ethelmae made you laugh
so hard that you thought you’d bust wide open?
Please don’t put status lines like that anymore,
it’s not fair because Ethelmae is never funny around me.”

Truthfully, the names and exact words
have been changed to protect the guilty….
I don’t have a new car,
my man is still amazing,
and I don’t know an Ethelmae.

But, these types of complaints
have all been said to me recently.

And, even worse,
I know my heart has felt similar complaints.

Why do women do this?

Why do we compare our life to someone else’s?

Who told us life would be fair?

And, what is FAIR anyway?

Here’s the biggest question…

Why do we make our discontentment
someone else’s issue?

In my struggle to live a life of gratitude,
I find myself griping an awful lot.

And, the more I list my gratitudes,
the louder my complaining resonates in my heart.

I want to give in to my discontent
and I want to be able to make that discontent
someone else’s problem.

Because, if I pass it off as their problem,
I don’t have to take ownership of it.

Guess what?

It’s time to put on my big girl pants
and claim what is rightfully mine…
this sinful heart.
It wants what it can’t have
and doesn’t want to be responsible for how ugly it really is.

As women, we often harshly judge men
for issues of lust…

I propose we may want to deal
with our own issues of discontentment first.


Discontentment comes in many forms and I probably struggle with all of them. I only know that when I confess those moments and then purposely find things to be grateful for, it replaces those negative thoughts and changes the tune of my heart.

I’m joining in, again, on this Multitudes on Monday with the gratitude community at Ann’s where we weekly add to our list of grace


… for bright sunshine
… and gentle spring breeze

… for rain
… and puddles
… and the fun of splashing

… for after dark conversations in my driveway
… and friends stopping spontaneously in

… for corporate worship
… and seeing the changes God is doing in the hearts of my kids

… for late night parenting
… and the “I love you, Mom” that followed


… for girl time for my social girl
… and a fun piano recital for my music girl

… for 12 hours of sleep
… and rest this weekend


… for the chance to use the good china
… to put into practice Bread and Wine
… and to have women in my home for lunch


… for being held
… and for celebrating 19 years tomorrow

… and knowing that He holds me more
… and trusting in Him
… and re-trusting when I fall into the comparison trap… again.


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4 thoughts on “the comparison trap and getting my big girl pants on…

  1. tom/jean drummond April 22, 2013 — 2:00 pm

    good stuff your writing girlfriend!!

    1. thanks! Glad He can use a mess like me 😉

  2. Oh I needed this, after being sick for over a week I’ve been struggling with a bad attitude, thanks for the sweet redirection.

    1. I’m glad you stopped by! Hope you feel better soon!

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