when you think you’d rather go…

Seems to be the thing to do…
sell everything and go.

Go to be a missionary or
go to live among those who need Jesus.

I’ve heard it said that sometimes
God calls you to do just that.

I’ve also heard Matthew 28:18-21 preached
that we are all called to go
and only the Faithful Few actually obey.

Maybe.

I’ve no doubt that God calls some
to sell everything and go.

I know because I’ve hugged them
and said, “see you soon!”

but, maybe…
just maybe…

He calls some to sell everything
and stay.

Maybe you start a decade ago,
trying and trying and trying to move
because your neighborhood is rough
and your young son finds
“used balloons” in your yard.

Maybe you beg God for a safe and quiet
little farm out in the country
when the neighborhood kids throw rocks
at your own kids playing on their own yard.

Maybe God simply says, “Stay!”
and you find yourself stuck
because with all that is within you
you hate the thought.

And you watch as people go.

And you wonder how much better
it would be if you could go too.

And you hear others extol the virtues
of those who gave up everything
to reach the unreached,
and you wonder why they don’t see
the unreached that live next door to them.

Years go by,
almost two full decades.

There is no furlough.
There is no completed time commitment.

As you watch, and listen, and wonder,
maybe your heart slowly shrivels
and you grow more weary than
you ever thought possible
and going seems easier than staying.

And late one night,
bitter tears course down your face…
one small event is all it takes
to shatter the heart that grew hard and cold.

The lesson, once again, is this…
He has a different path for each of us,
whether we go or whether we stay…
It is where our heart is that matters most.

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6 thoughts on “when you think you’d rather go…

  1. You have a gift with the written word. I have sometimes felt that I wasn’t a good Christian because I have never felt called to go to another country. Maybe that is because I have been called to be a Christian right where I am. There are many people all over the world who need to know about our loving Savior..

  2. This post is poignant and heart-rending, but it is probably one of your most valuable statements. We all need to be reminded that each of us is unique in God’s eyes. We are not all called to the same work. As the apostle Paul said, “If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing?” (1 Co 12:17)
    For years, I struggled with the sense that other people had “better” callings than I, or that I had simply missed my calling. I even tried to call myself to what I regarded as an elevated line of work. I felt left out and confused. I truly understand the meaty issue in your post as you examine others and yourself and wonder.
    The situation was not resolved by getting my lightning flash; it resolved over time spent in maturing. One day I realized that I was doing what I was born to do, and that was the way God wanted me to serve him and speak to others. Some people do get the message in a single moment of truth, but I didn’t, and I think most people don’t. Most of us don’t see much beyond the next step, because our lives are so full.
    Thanks for sharing your insight and for being so powerfully honest with your readers.

  3. i realized after talking to you today that there are many times that the Lord is whispering, yelling in my ear to give, go, and do. and sadly there are many, many times that I simply refuse to listen. what a great testimony you are to me. thank you again and again.

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