I want to live with my hands held out,
so that I don’t hold tightly to anything
and I hold nothing back.
I want my hands, my heart, my soul
to be vessels with holes and gaps and cracks
so that God can be poured right through me to others.
It sounds poetic and pretty to say…
maybe not so beautiful as I’m learning to live this out.
I’ve had plenty of panic moments with God
over the past year.
Times when I thought for sure
He was not going to be Faithful and True.
And, then, when I stopped worrying
just long enough to listen…
Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. Malachi 3:10
I began to listen for His prompting
and give without worrying.
I began to pray for things I used to think
were too trivial to bring to the Throne of Grace.
I began to live like today
was the only day that mattered.
And, when worry of loss of hours,
longer recovery time,
and Christmas coming
came on strong,
I prayed somemore and reminded Him
of His promise in Malachi 3.
And, then, I looked at my family
buried under empty boxes and torn paper
and I cried.
The one Christmas I wasn’t sure would happen…
happened in a big way.
As I looked through my tears,
He gifted my faith with sight.
So, tonight I sit
in the post celebration quiet
and my heart knows
that it’s all a gift…
and I’ve been gifted with
the merriest little Christmas ever.