one more year…

“Ugh! One more year!”

It was how he said those words that pierced deep. In a conversation last night over frozen custard, we talked about disobedience and consequences.

Just the mancub and me.

And when I mentioned the consequences to his actions, he leaned back against the truck seat and groaned and slung those words.

He is seventeen today.

“I didn’t think that was how it worked.” I replied quietly. “I thought you were our son for life.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, good! I want you forever.” I said driving up the hill. “Just know that the consequences for disobedience don’t stop when you turn 18 and I’m quite certain that they are harder for adults than they are for kids.”

I’m not sure if he heard me or not.

I only know I heard him.

And, I think there was some truth in what he said.
He is biding his time for one more year.

His words hurt my mama’s heart last night
but this is how it’s supposed to be…
it’s painful and labor intensive rearing a man.

Seventeen years ago, I first saw his face after 30 hours.
I hardly remember it, I was so exhausted.
I was young and dumb
and had my own idea of how giving birth would be.

I was wrong on all accounts…
just as I have been wrong
the past seventeen years on how I thought parenting would be.

But, I would do it all again
just to hear him call me Mom.

So, as he waits out the next 365 days,
I pray.

I pray for the man he is today
and the man he will become…

and I thank my Lord for the cub
He entrusted to me 17 years ago today.

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4 thoughts on “one more year…

  1. Ohh….it feels like 17 is going to be a hard year…lots of birthing pains going on over here too…so glad we are walking this road together!

  2. Okay… the hormones for boys must have been raging last night. My 17 year old got very frustrated with me last night as well. He apologized later on, thank goodness, Watching our children leave the nest is hard for parents and we realize that we have little time left to teach them all those things we thought we would have time to teach them. My oldest is learning that the “real world” is a lot tougher than he thought. My motherly instincts want to help him, but it is time to let go and let him make it on his own – a hard thing to do as a mother! May God give us all the strength to handle this season of life. Sounds like we need to spend some time together – it might be therapeutic!

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