my ode to real marriage…real moments

“I adore you,” he whispers…
the whisper completely for effect.
I smile…
because I know that in this moment
those words are true.

There are yesterdays
that to utter those words
would have been a bold-faced lie…

and tomorrows?

Who knows?

Two decades together
and this is the thing
I’ve learned…

marriage is made of real moments

There are really good moments
and really bad moments…
and then there are the really ugly moments…

that are all really REAL.

For years I quietly banked the bad moments
and held tightly to the ugly times,
waiting for just the right moment
to make a hefty withdrawal.

In a nano-second, I could withdraw
from my emotional savings account
and fling old arguments and long-forgotten
mistakes right back in his face.

I went for the jugular,
and drew first blood…
at a cost I never imagined.


I won the battle but lost his respect.

What I didn’t know
I had to learn…

holding on to the bad moments
simply begets more bad moments.

Conversely, banking the good moments,
and remembering them often…
prompts me to see the good more often
in the real moments of each day.

In the real moments
of our real marriage,
I’m choosing the really good moments
to deposit in my emotional savings account.

I learned this from
the one I adore…


***Im joining Edie for Stories From Real Marriages (

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4 thoughts on “my ode to real marriage…real moments

  1. Beautiful, Heidi.
    Thank you so much for sharing.
    Bless you and your marriage today!

    1. Thanks for hosting a fun linkup, Edie!

  2. Beautiful lessons shared with warmth and love oozing from from every word. Nicely communicated and thanks for sharing.

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