on leaving success behind and moving on…

This was one of the things we discussed
during our #20datesin14days.

This prevailing idea of success
and what it looks like…
not only in the mainstream American culture
but also in the American church culture.

Success looks wealthy,
bigger,
more.

To be successful means that you have a loaded 401K,
a mini-mansion in the right subdivision,
and gold, platinum, and titanium credit cards…
and the church often says,
“Those that have these must have been blessed by God.”

We spent the first thirteen years of our marriage
seeking this kind of success,
this kind of blessing.

We spent the next two years working harder than ever
to pay off the gold, platinum, and titanium cards,
the equity line of credit,
the fancy black dually one-ton Ford truck,
and the student loan…
because in our seeking of success,
we only tried to bless ourselves.

Now…seven year from the start,
I don’t think our neighbors think we are successful.

And, I don’t feel very successful.

Then, this morning,
my friend, Candy, posts the link for this post
on Facebook and it reverberates deeply.

These are the words and thoughts that have been simmering.

All this time I have been trying to reconcile
the prevailing definition of success with how I am called to live.

Instead of reconciliation,
I’ve found myself at odds trying to change
the definition of success
to fit our new lifestyle.

I thought changing the definition
would make me feel successful.

The funny thing?
The definition I was seeking
belongs to another word.

Significance.

I’m leaving success behind
and moving on.

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