I’ve wanted to write this post for a while
and wondered how to put into words
the swelling of my heart.
I’ve overwhelmed much these days.
Overwhelmed when the youngest~
my soft and sweet 11-year-old
gets on the bus with a quick hug
to venture south of the border…
south of two borders…
to the mountains of Guatemala
to be a nurse for a week
working alongside her sister and her dad.
Overwhelmed when the soon to be 16 year old
takes her sister under her wing
and the two of them share a hotel room for a week…
when she sends me a text that she’s learning to suture
and facetimes’s me to tell me she’s not coming home
until her Dad reminded her of Mama’s Rule #1
“You can go if you promise to come home.”
I’m overwhelmed at the swelling of my heart
when she posts pictures and her heart’s song
and I see it these thousands of miles away.
Overwhelmed with a week with my son no longer a child.
A week of moments together…
a moment listening to him work out the details
for an incredible summer job and a more incredible
an appointment with his university working out his
and a dressed up dinner out followed by an awards ceremony
on my anniversary when my man
was countries away.
My heart is swollen to bursting
and I know it.
I only wonder when the dam will break.
Will it be on a sweet girl’s 16th birthday
or on the day we celebrate a graduate?
Will it be the day he actually holds his dipolma
or the day he moves into his dorm?
I don’t know when.
I only know this…
when my heart first swelled
at the sound of a growing heartbeat deep within,
I had no idea how many times
my heart will swell and burst.
It will be for the rest of my life.