when the words slide off the page

I had it all arranged, the paragraphs, the indents, the white space. The structure was sound, the arrangement was balanced. It looked good. I could tell you the outline and I could describe the characters. I didn’t know subplots, just yet, but I could tell you knew where the story was headed, where it would go, and how it would end. I had it all figured out.

Suddenly, though, all the words just slid off the page into a mountain of typeset letters piled high. I had a white computer screen and a jumbled mess. I was dumbfounded.

This was part of a dream I had this week. I have spent much time, this summer, contemplating life, mostly where I am and where I want to be. Apparently, my sub-conscience was in overdrive the other night because I would guess this dream was more reality than fantasy.

Here’s the thing. When I first woke up, I wigged out. Wild, random thoughts filled my mind.

“Does this mean I’m done writing?”

“If written all my life, in one form or another. What will I do?”

“Have I lost my purpose?”

A few cups of coffee, a little time, and a whole lot of Jesus helped settle me down and put things back in their right perspective.

I haven’t written much this summer. It’s been quiet here on the blog, quiet in my journals, quiet in my next book. As quiet as it’s been here and there, it’s not been quiet in my real life. Instead of writing, I’ve been talking to and connecting with women daily.

One of the greatest blessings of coming home to work is the connections I have made with so many women who are either doing the same thing or are seeking to be able to do it. I’ve been able to share my story and encourage others to pursue their God-given gifts and abilities to find ways to work from home (feel free to join our Facebook group for inspiration and encouragement).

I am finding deep purpose in meeting women where they are and connecting them with where they want to be. It’s not rocket science and I’m obviously not the first person to do this. However, God keeps bringing women to me and I keep answer the question, “How can I do what you are doing?”

I’ve lived long enough to know that life is full of seasons. This is my season to share with women.

So, back to the dream. I figured out what it meant. Last week, I was sent a writing proposal. This morning, I sent a heartfelt apology and turned it down. Thankfully my publishing friend responded with grace and understanding and I learned a little bit more about myself.

Mostly this, when the words slide off the page, it’s time to turn to the next adventure.



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8 thoughts on “when the words slide off the page

  1. I loved this, Heidi. Thanks for sharing your real self. And thanks for sharing this season with us.

    1. Thanks Sarah! I’m glad to walk this season with you. πŸ˜€

  2. It’s so helpful when we have dreams that actually help to guide us. May the Lord continue to guide your steps and grant you fruit and fulfilment in your ministry in Jesus’ name.

  3. Heidi, I can relate to going thru seasons and learning to get alone with Jesus! Thank you for sharing the season you are in right now!

    1. He is good, isn’t He Christina? He waits for us to get alone with Him and then guides our very steps πŸ˜€

  4. Oh friend, how I just adore your heart and your PURPOSE. I just loved this. YES YES YES. I too, haven’t written a new blog post all summer. And it has been daunting, overwhelming and sometimes I panic. BUT- this season wasn’t and isn’t about writing, it’s about moving my mom here down the street from me and helping her adjust to a brand new life in a brand new place and a brand new state. It’s about running ragged with my kiddos doing random activities and spending most of the summer helping my girl do what she loves- SWIM. And of course they have been around me every single day, so there’s little time for quality writing. I found joy in many moments this summer, and I continue to remind myself that words aren’t all there is. Oh there is so much more. πŸ™‚ (BUT I MISS IT and I especially miss the connections of beautiful women online, like you- who bring so much fulfillment, when I read your words!)

    I keep saying, it’s okay. It’s a season, and there IS purpose in it too.

    I LOVE that you are helping women grow and offering them your gift of wisdom and encouragement. YOU truly have a purpose in addition to writing here. Oh do you ever. I am always blessed by your words, when you give them, and I am confident there are many hearts soaring because of your passion in so many different places.

    1. Chris! ❀ Thank YOU!! So glad to walk with you! πŸ˜€

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