the lasts in mothering…

Tomorrowellen22 morning at 11:29 a.m. (or there about…), I will no longer have a 12-and-under child in my home. All three of my Es will be teenagers.

I’m still processing this.

I remember reading about all the “firsts” of motherhood. The first time you feel the flutter of your little one tucked safe and warm deep inside. The first time you see your baby’s face. The first time you hear your name change to “mama.” The first time your child rolls over, takes her first steps, goes to school. Those firsts are precious milestones that mothers get to savor.

Did I ever read about the “lasts” of motherhood? ellen68

The last time I would nurse a baby or change a diaper. The last time I would give a bath or wipe a nose. The last time we would put training wheels on a tiny bicycle and later take them off. The last time I would teach a child to read. The last time I would prepare for a 13th birthday.

I think I’ve forgotten more lasts than I’ve remembered

I’m sure I heard about the lasts of motherhood somewhere by someone but I didn’t know and I didn’t listen.

I didn’t know thellen93at the lasts are not lost in some matrix of time and space far, far into the future but are closer than I ever imagined.
I didn’t know that the lasts are the moments that are often missed by the lens of the camera in the hurry to document the next first.

Mostly, I didn’t know that the lasts of mothering are far more precious than the firsts.

Tonight was another last, only this time I knew to savor it.

 

We have a family tradition that on the 13th birthday, we present our kids with a book of letters of wisdom and encouragement from friends and family. Tonight we img_2240presented our last 13th Birthday Book.

I’m still processing it.

We sat in a booth at our favorite pizza place {her birthday dinner of choice} and I watched her as she read words of affirmation, letters of encouragement, messages steeped with memories, and love notes from those who love her most.

She read slowly and savored the words.
I watched her and savored the moment… this last child of mine on her last night of childhood.

A sweet last of mothering I’ve tucked deep inside to savor for a long time.

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